


let's see how far we've come

by lequeenofmoondoor



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Dealing with Emotions, F/M, Found Family, Loneliness, TAZ Candlenights Exchange 2020, The author loves Barry J. Bluejeans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28615695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lequeenofmoondoor/pseuds/lequeenofmoondoor
Summary: Last Candlenights, he was alone.This Candlenights, Barry wakes up to the smell of French toast.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23
Collections: The Candlenights Zone (2020 Exchange)





	let's see how far we've come

Last Candlenights, he was alone. 

Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the whole going down into the sinking lab to try and warn the boys another time, finding out that they had found her and didn’t even realize they had, and failing to recompose himself in time to actually make sure they got out okay. By the time he had focused again, it was over. This world was saved. Again. 

And then he was alone. 

Liches in their purest form can’t drink alcohol, but that didn’t stop him from trying for a few hours. Then he shook the misery off and got back to work trying to find the last relics and warn them before it was too late. Before the Hunger found them, and there was no more escaping.

This Candlenights, Barry wakes up to the smell of French toast. When he forces his eyes open, he finds the bedsheets next to him rumpled, like the person laying in them had been asleep one second and up and out the next. He almost doesn’t want to get up - but his stomach growls so violently that Barry thinks he shouldn’t piss it off more. 

With a clumsy hand, he stretches out to grab his glasses from the nightstand. Barry pushes them onto his face and panics for a second when he looks at the clock, but remembers what today is. They have the day off, him and Lup. Even Kravitz does for a little bit, which is a rare but pleasant treat. 

It should be a quiet and nice holiday. Already, it’s starting off better than last year’s. Lup was really excited about celebrating finally, so she invited everyone over to their place. Merle, his kids, and Magnus are showing up in the mid-afternoon, with Taako and Kravitz arriving in time for dinner. Davenport will be there whenever he docks. He isn’t sure about Lucretia. 

Lup has forgiven her completely but then again, Lup has always been quick to forgive. Barry is slower and had a lot of time to dwell on the fact that he was completely alone for so long. No partner, no friends, no body. Nothing in his control. He and Lup were gone for a similar amount of time, but she lost so much time in that umbrella. Barry had to witness all of it and watch himself be turned into the villain.

The worst part is knowing that he would have made the same decision in her shoes and still struggling to forgive.

Slowly, Barry drags himself out of bed and tugs on a pair of jeans, hopping a little bit to avoid falling. He’s still kind of getting used to having a consistent body again. He knows that Lup is too, but she hides it with the same grace and humor she uses to get through everything.

He loves her so much. 

Barry is on his way to the bathroom when he hears voices in the kitchen, way more than just Lup talking to herself or on a stone with someone. So he decides that he can hold it and turns down the hallway. 

Lup is leaning over their griddle, trying to swat away Taako’s free hand as he stirs a bowl with the other. Mookie is dangling on a tense Kravitz’s arm while Mavis asks questions about the afterlife. At the table are Magnus and Davenport who are attempting to top each other in telling (partially) true stories about their recent escapades, and Merle and Lucretia are just laughing in the back and watching the scene play out. 

Frozen to his spot, Barry can only watch and try to keep calm the storm of emotions building in his chest. Lup looks up and gives him a wide smile. She immediately brings him a plate and kisses him on the cheek. 

“Happy Candlenights, babe! There’s strawberry elderflower sauce and -” she rolls her eyes back at Taako, “raspberry rose compote, because there’s no accounting for taste.”

“Because some people have it!”

Everyone in the room is grinning and laughing, and he’s just so full that he can’t help it. Barry bursts into tears in the middle of the kitchen. 

Lup’s brow furrows, and she takes the plate out of his hands to hold them. “Is this okay? I wanted to get everyone together early as a surprise but I didn’t mean to upset you.”

He’s not upset, he really isn’t. He’s overjoyed to have his family all in one place, but he’s also mourning all of the years that he didn’t have this. It’s a strange combination, a deep rooted sadness and an overwhelming happiness and just so much love that he doesn’t know what to do with it. 

“No, it’s more than okay,” he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, “It’s just…”

“Good to be back together,” says Lucretia in a quiet voice, barely a whisper that wouldn’t have been heard if the room wasn’t already quiet. And in that moment, Barry forgives her fully. 

Mookie lets out a giant belch and, just like that, everyone starts chattering again. It’s a little awkward at first, but they get back into the rhythm after a few moments. Lup presses a soft kiss against his lips. He knows she’s asking if he’s okay. So he smiles at her, a little weakly, because he will be. They all will be. 

Barry takes his plate and goes back to sit with Lucretia as Merle chases after the strawberry-covered Mookie. 

“I missed you,” he says, and he trusts her to know what he means. Not just for the past seven years, but in the last few months, too. In not knowing quite what to say so avoiding being alone with her, in not being able to talk to her about being by yourself for so long when she’s the only one who truly gets it. He missed her.

She laughs sadly. “I missed you too, Barry.” 

The French toast is good, too. He would never tell Lup, but he kind of likes the raspberry thing a lot. 

It’s a good Candlenights morning. Barry can’t wait to have more of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> This was written for the 2020 TAZ Candlenights Exchange on Tumblr, for @cornflowerbluewrites. It was so fun to write because I a d o r e Barry J. Bluejeans and wanted to look at how he's been dealing since everything happened.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at @lequeenofmoondoor!


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